Expectant
Merriam Webster definition: n. one who is looking forward to something
As I wash my face and prepare for bed, my cellphone dings to signal I might not be crawling into bed after all. It’s the text we’ve been waiting for: “Contractions are intense and 10 minutes apart. Stay tuned.” Was the spicy Indian food we enjoyed earlier in the evening having its intended effect on the expectant mother? Now what? We pack a bag and begin to rehearse various scenarios. Do we drive one car or two to their house? Must remind them to remove their toddler’s car seat before they head to the hospital. The minutes tick on and I begin pacing. I wonder if we should drive over and sleep at their house instead of being wakened in the dead of night. I text with that suggestion and wait for an answer. Several minutes later, she replies with an emoji sigh, doubtful they’ll be going to the hospital tonight. Contractions are steady but holding. They hope to get some sleep and start afresh tomorrow. Sounds like a plan. I fall into bed, but my brain keeps churning while Hubby plays Wordscape on his phone.
Was it just three weeks ago that we were with my family in Colorado, celebrating my mother’s amazing 96-year life? She died last Christmas Eve, but due to Covid it took nine months until we felt free to gather. Nearing the end of our visit, we received news from home that my stepdaughter, pregnant with identical twins, had been admitted to the hospital at 33 weeks with premature contractions. Thankfully, with the help of modern medicine, her contractions were halted, and she was sent home with hopes “the boys” would stay tucked in a little longer. It’s been a long three weeks as we await their debut.
As a result, autumn is taking on new meaning this year. Usually I dread the fall because it means winter is around the corner. As one who lives with chronically cold fingers and toes, the winter months can alter both my mood and productivity as I wrestle with fewer hours of daylight. But this year feels different. Not only did it kick off with a trip to the Colorado Rockies, where the weather was mild and the aspens were peaking in golden splendor, but we now await the imminent arrival of twin grandsons who we can only imagine will eclipse our lives in wonderful ways. So much goodness is in store as we eagerly wait to meet them and see what their little lives will hold.
As I reflect on the word expectant, a deeper appreciation of its significance percolates. Expectant is a hope-filled word, full of promise. When we are expectant, we look forward to what is to come. Something (or someone) has our attention, and we lean in to watch for signs of its (their) arrival. As a Christian, I wonder how expectant I am of God’s movement in my life. When I pray, do I pray expectantly? If I believe in a revelatory God Who is omni-present and all-knowing, doesn’t it make sense I would want proof of that power at work in my life? But how can I find it, especially when God is invisible? I often want to see God’s power in a certain way, and I’m disappointed when my expectations aren’t met. Is it because I’m not seeing through eyes of faith? Or am I limited by the lens I’m looking through? Maybe it’s both.
Waiting is one of the hardest things we humans do, yet waiting is required when we’re expectant. Whether you’re planning a wedding, beginning a friendship, or anticipating good news, everything happens in its own time. Most things can’t be forced. Whether we want time to speed up or slow down, the fact remains that every day has 24 hours that must be lived one second at a time. How do we spend our time while waiting for what we can’t control?
Scripture gives us a few clues and we need the Spirit’s help to apply them. Philippians 4 urges us to think about those things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. It says that when we do, we will know peace. James 1 says if we lack wisdom we can ask God for it and receive it in spades. We can also ask for patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. I don’t want to be one who “has not because I ask not.”
As we move into this season of shorter days, however you feel about it, can we dare to ask with expectant hearts for eyes to see God’s power and love at work in our lives? Amen?
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. ”
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ”
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. ”
